Life is a group of parameters, variables in an equation. The most important equation explains the relation between different members of the family. Between the parents and their children. Their is a factor which I consider very important. A line…the determiner of right and wrong. Or maybe between what is appropriate and what is not. In many families conflicts happen, between the point of view of the parent and that of the child. Some parents see certain thing as inappropriate without considering that it is not wrong, and vice versa, sometimes opposing the natural insight of the child. It really hurts…
It hurts more when the child see the parent enrolls in what was refused before, or even enthusiastic about it. While, ironically, the child see it in a neutral way. When a child wants something, the timing is important, very important. When the margin of time is over, this desire or natural insight is no longer strong like before, no longer wanted like before. It loses its taste, its meaning, loses it value and fun. It even increases the hurt,especially when the parent is thinking to do that action towards himself and raises the always unspoken question…why?
A child in this moment is confused, experiencing a deteriorated image of freedom and of the outside world. He forms a picture in his mind that who has the power can do anything, no matter what others say or think of. He believes in the phrase: "Who cares", he has the power and nothing really matters if he is still in the controlling side.
Many things can be lost as a side-effect, important things. Any decision done this way by the parent against the right vision of their children at the time of conflict can waste a talent, waste a value, waste something which could have made others' lives better. Parents do not normally realize that anything they do, ANYTHING, is like a butterfly effect. Major things always happen from minor things. Tornados can happen when a butterfly flies in the air, just a little colorful butterfly roaming around the lighted bulb while you are enjoying its beauty. This beauty can form a powerful tornado with all its damage to others' lives.
Just give them the chance to live, to create, to love, no to hesitate. Give them the chance to feel, to understgand, to fly with their minds in their very special atmosphere of imagination, the kind of imagination you lost long ago. Give them the chance to do it their way, they have a great chance to understand their surroundings better than you, you didn't live their childhood, you maybe didn't have their experience as they don't have yours. They can be different, and you will never know if this difference is in the right way or the wrong way, or even if it was appropriate or not.
Just give them the chance…
