I traveled a lot, I roamed a lot, saw a lot, thought a lot, suffered a lot. Traveling sometimes brings joy, happiness, suffer, pain, astonishment. All kinds of people are available. I always believe that people are the same. But, not the one kind same, they are different kinds. You know, like mass production principle. You have a definite number of products will be produced in a huge number. You will see millions of products, but are they different? You can easily realize.
Many people sell the world. A few just buy it, which always come to a surprise. Because, if you buy the world, you will think of yourself as someone alive. Someone you thought have died, died a long time ago. While you travel, you are put in this exam a million times, and you wish you would have died alone. With no more suffering for people who surround you, either because they don’t deserve it, or they are too evil to even think to take revenge from them. It is available sometimes to fix, sometimes available to fight, but you don’t have the courage, and you don’t have all the time in the world. You wait and wait till the game is over and there is no chance. You keep blaming yourself for being in the wrong time, in the wrong place, doing the wrong action.
You travel, you see a face you know, or you are supposed to know. This face tells you he is a friend of yours. You are surprised. Seems like you are losing control f your memory. Again and again trying to remember, then you leave him alone. You run and run trying to escape. You stop and laugh, shaking you head and head away for home. When you remember this again, you realize you didn’t even consider the possibility if the man was wrong or not. You escape yourself why did you escape, why did you run. No answer.
You travel, you meet new people. You are betrayed million times, you are rescued once. You have this friend for sometime, thank him for sometimes. Then you lose contact. Then it comes to your mind from time to time, how this pure kindness rescued you for no price, for no reward. Not even for the thanking reward. You are astonished how you leave this person like this. How do you let yourself die alone like this with losing a friend you could die before finding someone like him. Who knows, definitely not me.
It seems like I’m the one who sold the world, without even losing control. It was intentionally, it was never under any kind of oppression, internal or external. And I’m sorry for it.