Free personal thoughts…

Worried about the future…listening to some words from here and there, plus depressing signs from my family. Things like these never help, they just put me in the usual circle of doom.

Listening to the beautiful instrumental played by Era, Flowers of the Sea. This is all what I want from life. Tranquility…

Wandering about a usual thought of mine, words give meaning to meanings. People always complain about that there are so much words with no actions. Do they really talk right?

Remembering the time I wrote my poetry to my imaginary love in my early and middle teen years. How I laughed in my sleeves when my mates asked me who is she. And I realize how am I now, though still I don’t write poetry. Is it the fake stronger than the true? Or is it the hell of depressants I’m living in?

I want to run, I want to live my free decisions, I want to be with my family, I want to be with her, I want all of this in the same time

Still, dear friends of mine had most of these, but…when the moment of losing someone comes…it just adds to my misery.

I admit that I like people when they say good words about me, whether they were right or wrong. Is this wrong or right? At those moments I really don’t care, what I care is about my satisfaction. Selfishness I know, but who is not?

I regret my giving up when I was faced by the change of my career, but there was so little time, so little resistance to the so huge force from them, the point is…they will not pay the price, I’m the one who will pay the price, and they will just live happily that they did what they were supposed to do in their own perspective, and after that complain that I didn’t do my planned part.
And after all, they say, you chose it.

Dreaming…

2 Responses to Free personal thoughts…
  1. saso Reply

    well the first point is congrats for 1 year blogging
    sec.. congrats for you in love :)
    anyway real lovers never write poems

    mmm
    what abt this career thing? about being selfish i guess sometimes we feel like we’re in need to fulfill our needs from complements and clapping
    fo short times can’t be counted as selfishness ,,

  2. IRC President Reply

    :)

    Thanks for the congrats

    For the career thing, the problem is: people who usually have their career chosen by their family, forget what did they really want in the beginning, they forget their dream, and they gradually lose it…

    I just feel them totally responsible for destroying my dream for being focused on programming, while scattering my efforts in so many activities. And those who say to take courses after being graduated in the “dream” you wanted, just live in the easy of being out of the problem.

    It is an awful feeling to realize that you are gradually forgetting your dream and you have nothing to do about it.

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