Thoughts…

Alone…
The purifying feeling of being alone…
My parents never tried to understand my need to be alone from time to time, they just use the easy option of being scared and throw all the same-old-nagging about it is not right…it is bad…just like i’m still a child…

I was never taught the sense of privacy…my parents always invaded my strong desire for privacy…under many excuses…parental watch, love, protecting…yea ok i’m important for you and all…but do you think that this way will make the character you want to see? to be a real man who is able to face this monsterous-kind of life which is getting harder every second…

privacy…

as a matter of logic, this way of raising up made me believe that i have the right to invade the privacy of people i begin to care for…leading to face numberless problems as you can imagine…

privacy…

i suffered, paying the fees of the school of life…this suffering made me need to reanalyse the meaning of privacy, how to preserve it, how to protect it from the invasion from even my own parents…which released really bad effects…

lying…
cheating…
and all evil acts one can imagine…

i began to realize how parents r really responsible for what we r in life…

privacy…

even when i tried to share interests with them after al ong time of isolation…a long time of walled relationship…they kept making fun of my activities…or simply refusing it…

my online activity…
teenstuff magazine…
music interests…

as if they were never teenagers, as if they never lived this time of evolution of certain interests in the human being in this time interval…

i dont know if it a trend in this family…all the relatives in my family think of me as if am still a little child…forgetting the twenty summers and winters that passed through my life time…

privacy…

all my activities r just watched and delieveredby reports to my family…i hate my parents for what…what the hell…why do you know all this about me…JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU IDIOTS…

and then these relatives say…hey did u do that? u did that alone? What the heck guys…ur generation is the most coward generation of all, the worst generation of all time…the generation of fear and corruption…indeed you in particuler dont have the right to discuss my capability of doing the things i do, SPECIALLY, when i dont share ANY interests with ANY of you…so why dont you keep your idiot opinions for yourself…

when i was a child…i always spent like 2 or 3 hours before sleeping…screaning all my frustrations in my imagination…trying to create imaginable solutions for them…like getting batman tools, bionic men, Aladdin and his Jinny…every imaginable way of solving in the mind of a little child…of course i stopped this habit…but sometimes I think that i need thishabit again…maybe not before sleeping…but trying to get back this ability of reanalysing things that happen to me…to see it from outside…get a clear vision to get an easy solution…

to be continued…

One Response to Thoughts…
  1. still breathing Reply

    i’m curious for part 2

    actually part of living through 20 summers and winters as u place it is letting go of blaming ur parents 4 the person u r…

    u r in charge of ur life even if they r still clinging onto whatever they r doing… u can b whatever u wanna be :)

    it is excellent to vent of that anger and frustration… just know when to stop.

Replies are highly appreicated